Alexandra Diengdoh Pavel



Eulogy for our beloved daughter

Although we were aware Alex’s chances of survival were minimal after she was diagnosed with the second cancer, her death came as a shock and left a huge void in our life. Words cannot describe the grief caused by her loss.

Many knew her either as a friend or colleague.  Alex will always be remembered for the soft, compassionate nature, mature approach to various issues and desire to excel. She also had a wicked sense of humour; she nicknamed the cancer ‘the alien’, and she was determined to exterminate it.

For us the parents, Alex had been a source of joy and pride. She had been living with us throughout except during the years she spent in University and we shared a lot of things together. She spent many hours with her mother, painting, working together on their book, playing music, watching horror movies and planning the layout of the garden and vegetable beds.

She also spent time with me in the kitchen cooking some of her favourite dishes. She was fond of Japanese food, as a matter of fact she introduced us to Japanese cuisine. Whether playing the piano, drawing or cooking she did it with passion and attention to details.

An accomplished musician, she played various instruments, Alex was always on the lookout for something new. Her latest interest was in learning to play duitara a Khasi string instrument. As an artist she transposed scenes and life experiences on various mediums from canvas to paper and wood. There was no limit to her ability to learn new things and she was always ready to share her knowledge with others around her.

Above all Alex was a ‘giver’, showing empathy for the less fortunate, trying to bring hope and solace. While in St Petersburg she spent many weekends helping Mother Theresa’s sisters caring for the old and the sick. As a volunteer for Victim Support she spent endless hours on the phone with victims of domestic abuse providing them with advice and hope.

For almost two years she suffered agonising pain with stoicism, never complaining, never seeking compassion or pity. She knew she could not win, but never gave up fighting until her last breath. Minutes before passing away she asked us to help her sit in bed. She was ready to face the unknown journey with the same determination she had shown during her life.

The ‘aliens’ have vanquished her body but not her spirit. Ernest Hemingway once said ‘But man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated’. Alex’s spirit has risen above pain and sufferings, has left this world and the abode of a much tormented body.  Her light will continue to shine for many years to come. Her touch has left a mark on many souls and minds, her memory will always be cherished and treasured by those who have known her.

My wife and I will do our best to continue Alex’s legacy and fulfil some of her projects.

Alex, after 29 years we find it extremely difficult to let you go but we know you would like us to carry on. Arty, your puppy, who provided you with love and companionship, looks forlorn as you are no longer there to hug and play with her.

Your life was short but meaningful and well-lived. You left this world on a brighter journey travelling to realms free from pain, and anguish.  Fair winds our beloved daughter, we will be travelling with you again.

Rest in eternal peace, our shining star, may God show mercy and protect you.


Shi junom thiak suk khun baieit, khun kynrad ksiar.

Dio ti protegga nel tuo viaggio

Dumnezeu sa te protejeje


3rd June 2021


Jordana and Nicolae

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