Writing something like this for my brother, is not something I thought I would ever have to do and has not come easy to me. I’ve spent a long time thinking about what I could say about him and the life he lived, but the truth is, there is only one aspect of his life I feel able to talk about better than anyone else. Which is him as my big brother.

My mum always says that I love to copy Aidan. For the most part I would try to deny it but it’s true. When we were young, I wanted to have the same hobbies as him, or the same haircut as him. But as we grew up, I found it more difficult to be like my brother, not because I didn’t want to but because he became much harder to keep up with. As he got older, I began to see a side to him that had always been around but was now flourishing. The side of a brother who was deeply caring and protective over his younger sister and mother. A boy who was deeply passionate about making people feel loved and seen, especially his family. He had a way of expressing his love and reaching people that can never be replaced or replicated, it’s what made him so special.

I don’t know yet how I will learn to live without my brother, but I know that I can promise to live like he would have, embracing all his qualities and copying him. Speaking out when I know something is wrong, just as he did, without fear of going against the grain. Fighting to better the world we live in just as he was doing. Embracing his willingness to learn and develop his mind and knowledge. But most importantly, I will protect and love our mother with all of my heart, just as I know he did.

I will miss my brother forever. I will miss his texts asking me when I’m coming home when I’m out, I will miss screaming at him to turn down his music, I think I might even miss arguing with him. But it brings me peace knowing he is resting now and that we will continue to keep him alive through our memories and stories of his beautiful life. I will miss my big brother forever.