First of all I’d like to offer my condolences. My heart goes out to Chloe’s husband and children, to her mum and all her family and close, dear ones.

I became involved with the Heads Up project at Glasgow Cali a couple of years ago. I did an MBSR teacher’s conversion course and later was appointed as a trainer. Before that i had been part of the project advisory group as I’d had a stroke myself (in 2018)as well as being a mindfulness teacher.

I shadowed Chloe when she delivered her Oct course and gained so much from her expertise, experience and wisdom, her generosity, openness, authenticity, humility, kindness and compassion. I could go on with that list. I started my first course on Sat, Chloe’s was last Tuesday.

Chloe and I had a meeting last Monday on Zoom with the rest of the team to discuss participants needs. Yesterday, some of the team had another to try to support each other in the face of this utter, shocking loss . Every one on the team is understandably devastated which speaks itself of the high regard and affection Chloe was held in.

Everything I have learned about how to deliver this course and hold the space for the participants, has been down to her. Chloe so skilfully and compassionately led each of them through the course and I learned such a lot from observing what she did and  how she held the group with these specific needs, and from our post session chats .

At the end of the course, every participant, without exception, had had a positive, life enhancing, even life changing in some instances, experience. It was a such a privilege to be part of it, even in a small way, and I’m so glad I told her all of that at the time – and subsequently. I only realise now truly, what a real privilege that has been. We will be meeting with them on Thursday which would have been Chloe’s post course session. I know there will be real sorrow there.

Chloe was also one of my first tutors at the MA in Glasgow and at Samye Ling. I remember coming away from that first course with the importance of beginners mind resounding in my ear – especially as I’d had a some, such a v little, teaching and meditation experience. Oh my goodness – you realise sometimes how very little you really know about anything, despite thinking you do!  A delusion bubble burst! Beginners mind has stayed with me since – well the aspiration to have it at least has!

I think we bonded too in a personal way, over the course, we spoke of our health conditions, our children, my wee grand daughter Maisie who came along over lockdown – she spoke of her beautiful daughter called Maisie too, and we hoped to meet up in person when conditions allowed. 

The HEADSUP project IS Chloe is what was being said when we heard the news. And so it is. How we move on without her is so very difficult to fathom-and I’ve been involved for a lot less time than the others . All I can say at this point, from my perspective, is that she prepared me impeccably for delivering my course and mentored me so well, she was endlessly encouraging and positive about my own involvement and that everything from here on in, will be her legacy.

I had hoped to have continued getting the benefit of Chloe’s wise mentoring in my life, but, as this is not to be, I can only promise her that I will do my very best to use what I have gained from knowing her, to at least try to follow her example and not let her or her vision and hard work in the benefitting of  others, down.

Journey well, dear Chloe. 🙏🌈

Thank you for everything.

All my love, Carol Ann xxx