Mandy was someone who is very dear to me.
I can barely remember a time when she wasn’t around in our lives, though I guess I only got to know her when I was in Manchester in 1970 (only 55 years ago!). I have really warm memories of visiting her parents’ house for Friday night supper. There was always so much repartee and good humour. They seemed to love hearing my stories of miserable life in north Manchester and doings of my fellow students, though happily I don’t remember much of it now. Being myself quite a shy retiring person, I was quite intrigued by my younger and very feisty outspoken cousin, and I particularly recall Mandy talking about the exploits of her and her schoolfriends.
On one occasion, I had a party in my second year, in my miserable flat somewhere between Didsbury and the university. Mandy was probably about 14 at the time and I had invited her – I imagine for the comfort of having someone I knew amongst all the potential gatecrashers! I don’t recall anything about that party but Mandy often reminded me about it and how excited she was to be going to her first “grown up” party. And we werent grown up at all! In any case I don’t remember it! But I guess that was a foretaste of Mandy’s love of parties and of throwing them herself – something for which she had great flair. Every one of the parties we have attended – in your home, in the garden, in Philadelphia when David and Shelby got married – was a memorable and spectacular affair.
I don’t recall anything of the time when you were first married, as Mandy and I weren’t in touch then. But when you both came to London and moved in together and with and married, we began to see more of each other from time to time. We visited you in Oakwood Road in your lovely cottage, and we remember sitting in the garden there.
Over the following years, I have sat in gardens lots with Mandy: at your house, at the top on the lovely swing seat in the sun; on the patio with you both over an elegant cup of tea and often cake, before and after Covid, with and without a heater in all seasons; in our garden. In park cafes. We always had so much to talk about – gossip, the world, our families, the grandchildren, or not much at all. And always of course with tea and biscuits or cake.
If ever there was a problem to solve, Mandy would have the answer – even if I didn’t ask her for one!!. With her wit and intelligence she could cut straight to the core of an issue and she was nearly always right in her analysis and with her suggestions about what to do (even if we didn’t always agree!). She was a stalwart friend. After my mum died she came with me once to help clear the house and I recall that we had a very nostalgic afternoon going through my mum’ china and deciding what to keep and what to give away. It was a great comfort to have with me someone who knew my parents – and not just as acquaintances.
In more recent years, Mandy was one of my walking friends. We took pleasure in counting our steps but nearly always had a deserved coffee/tea break at her house or mine or in a café on the way, or a stop to look at the clothes at White Stuff in Muswell Hill. I remember many gorgeous afternoons when we would walk – both before her illness and after, Mandy sometimes patiently stopping when I took photos of trees for my art class. Even in this last week there have been small instances that previously I would have reported to Mandy – a bit of gossip, an issue with a grandchild at school pickup – and it has felt so sad to know that my friend isn’t there at the end of a phone or a WhatsApp message.
We can only hope that she is at peace now.
I am sure that you have a myriad of lovely memories (and hundreds of wonderful photos) of times with Mandy and the family together and I only hope that in time the awfulness of the past few months will recede, and that you can take some comfort in the memory of Mandy as she was, a vibrant, funny, insightful, creative, straight speaking person who has left an indelible mark in so many places and on so many people who knew and loved her. The world was a better place with Mandy in it.
I wish you all long life.